This is my first prose after decades of \’writer\’s block\’. These are events which occurred while I was at college 

P.S: You will find interspersed third person references.Because ftw it\’s fun.

It began like this. After completing my Boards with relatively high grades my ego ballooned into a virtual dust-ball the size of Earth. And after some more toil, I made it through AIEEE with a rank of 9140 but I hadn\’t made cleared JEE to my heart\’s content. Bruised by the dismal performance I managed to join VNIT,Nagpur.

The guy liked to think that he would kill it in college, get the best grades, be part of all clubs and excel at sports. Thinking this he worked hard and ignored every possible relationship. He avoided the opposite gender and slogged in glorified self-righteousness.In the first year, people were getting to know one another. New friendships were blossoming. And here was this guy who closed all doors because he believed in his heart of hearts that he was destined for greatness.

He did well when he least expected it and this baffled him. Ironically he took it as a sign of his uniqueness and worked harder still.

Time went on and semesters droned on. He made no real friends because very few people could relate to him. His life sucked. So there I was alone with my books and grandiose obsessions. It didn\’t help that several people put me on the spot. In return I was harsh. A loop of excuses was created:

\”I\’m special–>They undermine me–>I undermine/ignore them–>I\’m special it\’s ok\”

I had miserably failed to notice that people around me were equally good if not better. Looking back, I am happy to say I have moved on and hopefully changed for the better. I try my utmost to value relationships. That doesn\’t mean I made millions of chums. The process was arduous and painful and there were times when I had to give up on people.Yet that is something I\’ve made peace with.

My first lesson from this was I may have been through hell but there would always be those worse off. Accept your normalcy. And if you are an arrogant douche-bag like me, then slap yourself in the face hard. If that didn\’t work then visit a cancer patient at your local hospital. Never compare your suffering. Share your grief with loved ones, shed a tear and move on. You\’ll be OK.

What do you call it when two black men are walking in opposite directions???  Prison Break

Did you smirk? Before you say it, it\’s good\’ol humor.

Accept your flaws and you\’ll be better for it. Learn to be mediocre.

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Towards the end of the third semester I was riding on the highest GPA I had so far and I was looking to diversify beyond studies. Such is the nature of ambition. A sagacious person once told me that how much ever you have today, it will never be enough. Interestingly, capitalism today very much works on the principal of greed but that is another discussion.

So it was that I applied for the academic representative for my batch. In what I assume to be pre-conceived notions of my arrogance I lost an opportunity at the post which would help my voters. I was the only candidate.

Someone else was declared representative and I cannot begin to describe the months of anger, frustration and utter disgust.

Here is the thing, anger is self-destructive and so months of torture lead me to two choices. One was to give up on my ambitions and the other was to fight. It took me years to build a better personality but I was patient and yet humble. Resulting from this I was fortunate enough to serve the community as the student representative and as a member of Prayaas. We were able to raise money for Nepal earthquake, do blood donation drives, exhibitions for school kids as part of Prayaas. Why did I achieve this? Honestly, it don\’t know but perhaps the reason is simple. The idiot was driven to work with altruism, empathy and everything he had. Also, he was bad-ass enough to refer to himself in the third person 😉

I learned you have to fight for what you believe in, no matter how right or wrong it may seem. But remember, you can only give a fuck about a limited number of things in the world. Choose wisely and the do something about it. Be patient and work to the best of your ability. Work for work\’s sake.

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As a self-proclaimed travel enthusiast, I got to explore the real-world and see problems faced by society at large. I travelled to remote villages in Bihar, I travelled to the temple towns in the South and I travelled to a number of drought-prone villages of the Vidharba belt. The travels are tales for another time. It was at one particular speech by Ramon Magsaysay award winner Anshu Gupta of GOONJ that reminds me about balance. His message has remained long after his speech was forgotten. We live a privileged life at the cost of someone else. I couldn\’t agree more. Perhaps the only reason I am an engineer today is because someone worked hard and subsidized my education. We are far more blessed than we think. We are blessed with close friends, with an understanding partner, with excellent mentors and number amenities. Be grateful.

The last lesson I learned at college was to give back. To your juniors, to the down-trodden, to people you don\’t know, to people who are going through a bad time. Be humble, expect less and complete the circle.